RANDOM INSANITY! Starring Samurai Jack
by JadenYuuki
Summary: Jack must travel through the worlds of other TV shows to prevent Aku from destroying everything! NEW CHAPTER! Well, part of it, anyway...
1. Chapter 1

RANDOM INSANITY! Starring Samurai Jack! 

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Samurai Jack and all related materials copyright(C) 2001 Cartoon Network. Any materials not otherwise copyrighted by Cartoon Network belongs to their respective copyright holders. Finally, this fanfic is my intellectual property. Oh, and a shout out to my peeps from the Samurai Site Forums, who probably know me as Shade. Waves Hey, guys! If any of you are still around...

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CHAPTER ONE

Somewhere, deep in a random forest, is a random forest town.

The town is currently under attack by the minions of Aku. A group of children cower in fear as a beetle drone prepares to skewer them with its bladelike front legs, when suddenly...

-SHING!-

The beetle drone is sliced neatly in half. It begins spraying sparks in various directions and then explodes in a most impressive fireball. The children cheer, for their savior has arrived: None other than Samurai Jack!

He thinks briefly of how he always seems to find these random towns in need of saving from Aku's minions, then brushes the thought aside as he finds himself faced with three more beetle drones.

"Run, children!" He shouts, as he readies his sword. The children do as they're told and run for the nearest house.

Jack gets into a staring contest with the beetle drone standing directly in front of him. It attemts to say that it can't blink since it has no eyelids, but can't, because it has no means of speaking, and Jack does not know the method beetle drones communicate with each other. (The author doesn't either, though he assumes they do so by Morse Code.) Eventually, our hero gives up and charges forward. The beetle drones also charge forward, and...

-WHOOOSH! CLANG! SLICE! RIIIIIIIIIP! SLASH CHOP!-

The beetle drones get totally pwned, although Jack loses the top of his outfit in the process. The faint sound of (at least) several dozen women sighing contentedly can be heard in the distance. Jack pays this no mindand continues exterminating the pesky beetle drones.

Several minutes later, Jack has finished off the last of the beetle drones. Interestingly, he is wearing his full outfit, and also it is completely undamaged.

The mayor of the random forest town walks up to Jack and personally thanks him for saving them from the beetle drones. Jack merely replies that he was doing his job, and no thanks are needed. However, the mayor gives Jack a complimentary gift basket of food and other things a traveler should have. Jack thanks the villagers for the gift and continues his quest.

Meanwhile, a mysterious young man in a black overcoat watches Jack from a tree branch...

CHAPTER ONE END

Coming up next: Has Jack located a way back home? Will Aku make an appearance in the next chapter? Who is the mysterious young man in the black overcoat?

Find out in the next chapter of RANDOM INSANITY! (My friends from the Samurai Site probably already know the answer to that third question...)


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO 

Jack had been wandering for several hours before finally realizing he was being followed.

"I know you're there. I do not know how long you have been 'there', and if it was longer than I think it was, then I must applaud your skills." he said, without looking at his pursuer. "However, since I now know of your presence, it is rather pointless to continue hiding."

"All right, ya got me." said the young man as he dropped down from a tree branch. "And I've been following you for a few days now."

"Might I ask why you were following me?" Jack asked.

The young man reached into his overcoat and pulled out a digital camera. "Pictures." he replied. "You've got fangirls all over the world, Jack. Fangirls who'll pay good money for pictures of you in action. That's why I was following you. But I suppose I should be going now, there's someone waiting for me to get back with these pictures." With that, the young man dashed off, leaving Jack alone and rather confused.

"What a weird kid..." he said to himself. He began to walk off in the direction he was originally headed, only to stop and say, "You're still following me."

"Just need one good picture of you walking off into the sunset."

CHAPTER TWO END

Okay, so this chapter revealed nothing about the mysterious young man's identity, nor did it have Jack finding a time portal or an appearance by Aku. I suppose I'll cover those things in later chapters...


	3. Chapter 3

Previously on RANDOM INSANITY: Jack saved a random town in a random forest from the minions of Aku and, hours later, discovered that he was being followed by a mysterious young man who claimed he was a photographer who was interested in getting pictures to sell to Jack's fangirls. Meanwhile, Aku has not made an appearance yet.

Well, that's about to change.

Also the fic gets a lot more Fourth-Wall-Breaky.

CHAPTER THREE

In the Pit of Hate, Aku was sitting in his La-Z-Throne. "Well, it's about damn time I made an appearance in this thing..." said Aku.

"What are you talking about, sir?" a random minion asked.

"Uh..." Aku looked around. "Nothing! YOU HEARD NOTHING!" he yelled. "Now go, uh, do something productive! Before I blast you with my LASER EYEBEAMS!"

"Yes, sir!" The now very frightened minion ran off in a random direction.

Finding himself alone, he turned his attention to the fiery viewscreen, only to notice that it was showing what Jack was up to. "That stupid samurai has had more than enough screen time for now!" Aku yelled and turned off the viewscreen.

Another random minion walked in and faced Aku. "Sir! I have the report you wanted on the new model combat drones." it said.

"Yes, good. How are they coming along?" Aku asked.

"According to the latest report, they'll be ready for duty by tomorrow." the minion replied.

"Excellent... These new combat drones should give that stupid samurai much more trouble than the old beetle drones..." Aku mused. He then dismissed the minion.

Several minutes passed. Aku yawned and stretched.

"Hmm. This is very boring. I suppose this chapter might end up ending soon." Aku said. And he was right, for the very next paragraph contained the following phrase:

CHAPTER THREE END 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR 

The next day, Aku went to the factory where the new combat drones were being produced.

The head scientist greeted the demon when he arrived. "Ah, so glad you could join us for the combat drone field tests, my lord." he said.

"Did you think I would miss this? This may be exactly what we need to finally defeat that pesky samurai!"

"Indeed. I'm quite proud of what my team has done, and I'm sure you will be as well. First up, a demonstration of the special Superdrone. Just one of these can take out an entire army. Observe." The head scientist gestured toward the testing field, where a humanoid robot was laying waste to several dozen beetle drones with the same ease that Jack usually does. "Unfortunately, the Superdrone is far too costly to mass-produce. The standard model, however, is only slightly less effective in combat, though in order to allow for mass-production, we had to remove much of the armor. But, to compensate, they've been programmed to work together with great efficiency."

Down on the testing field, a group of the standard combat drones quickly wiped out a group of Aku's minions who had made the mistake of getting on their master's bad side. It was very messy.

"HA HA HAAAA!" Aku laughed. "I just loved how that one screamed like a little girl before he got eviscerated. That was absolutely hilarious!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show, sir. Now, I shall ask the obvious question: How many of them shall we send to hunt down the samurai?"

"I would say send a few dozen of the standard combat drones backed by at least three of the Superdrones."

"As you wish, sir."

CHAPTER FOUR END

Things don't seem to be looking good for our hero. Will he survive an encounter with the combat drones? find out in the next exciting chapter of RANDOM INSANITY!


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

So Jack was wandering through a random forest, when suddenly several dozen humanoid robots attacked! He quickly drew his sword, leapt at the nearest combat drone, and sliced it in half.

Or he would have, but it somehow blocked his sword. It then forced the sword away and slashed with its own sword, cutting a deep gash in Jack's arm.

He narrowly dodged the next few attacks and leapt for a tree branch. Once he was safely out of their range (Or so he hoped), he looked at his arm.

"Never has any of Aku's minions been able to draw this much blood with a single attack. I may be in grave danger if I can't think of something..." Jack had little time to contemplate his next move, as the combat drones had begun attemting to cut the tree down with their swords. Jack quickly tore off a sleeve of his gi, used it to wrap his wound, and dropped from the tree.

The combat drones formed a circle around Jack and charged, only to attack each other when he jumped out of the way.

"Aha! They're not actually as bright as I had suspected!" And so, armed with this new information, he renewed his attack, and managed to defeat the combat drones.

Meanwhile, in the Pit of Hate, Aku was most displeased. "That did not go the way I had hoped. However, he still has those three Superdrones to worry about, and he's injured from the fight with the regular drones. This should be very interesting..."

Back with Jack, our hero was trying to find his way to a town with some form of medical facility, when a more heavily armored combat drone burst forth. It brought its massive sword down upon Jack, who narrowly managed to avoid the blade.

Jack took a fighting stance. "Great. This is just what I need right now..." he said.

CHAPTER FIVE END

Jack seems to be in real trouble, folks. Will he survive the encounter with the first Superdrone? (Well, considering he's the main character...)

Anyway, you'll find the answer in the next chapter! 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

When we last saw our hero, he was faced with the daunting task of taking down the first of the three Superdrones that Aku had sent to kill him. Not only that, but he was also wounded from his previous encounter with a squad of combat drones.

The Superdrone raised its massive sword for another attack. Jack dodged, and countered with an attack of his own.

But his blade bounced harmlessly off of the Superdrone's armor.

"Wha...!" was all Jack could manage to say before the Superdrone kicked him aside like a ragdoll.

Not since the so-called "Ultra-bots" did Jack ever face an enemy that his sword could not cut through, and even then, there was a way to cut through them. Remembering that battle, he concentrated hard, focusing as much energy as he could spare into the blade of his sword, which began to faintly glow.

Then, with his trademark battle cry, he leapt at the Superdrone and rather effortlessly sliced off one of its arms.

The superdrone was unfazed. It lifted its massive sword in its remaining hand, and slashed at Jack, who jumped out of the way and proceeded to lop off the other arm. And then he leapt into the air and sliced the Superdrone in half.

The glow began to fade from his sword as he slid it back into its sheath. Grabbing hold of his wounded arm, he set off toward the nearest town.

CHAPTER SIX END 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

In a random town somewhere, the photographer guy was walking down the street with a large amount of money.

"Heh. This is great! I must have a monopoly on the 'Taking pictures of Samurai Jack' business to command prices this high." he said to himself. "Then again, since I seem to be the only person who's actually thought of following Jack around with a digital camera, I likely do have a monopoly."

At that exact moment, he and Jack passed by each other. Jack happened to be running incredibly quickly.

"Well, what are the chances of that?" the young man asked. "I wonder why he was running..." Turning his attention back to where he was going, he saw the second of the three Superdrones that Aku had sent to kill Jack.

The Superdrone stopeed. It stared at the young man for a second, then slashed at him with its massive sword.

He dodged the attack with seemingly little effort and ran in the opposite direction screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BIG EVIL ROBOT!"

Suddenly, there came a loud scream. Jack jumped out of nowhere and bisected the Superdrone with his katana.

Except the sword bounced off of the Superdrone's armor because Jack forgot to set it in Glowy Mode first. "I knew I forgot something!" he yelled.

The young man skidded to a stop. He quickly reached into his overcoat, pulled out his digital camera, and took a picture of Jack squaring off against the Superdrone. then he tossed the camera back into his coat and pulled out what appeared to be a six-inch long stick with a crystal on one end. He gripped it tightly and blade of energy extended from the crystal.

Jack began focusing his energy into his sword when suddenly, the young man dashed forward and sliced through the Superdrone with his energy blade. The energy blade retracted back into the crystal as he spun it in his hand.

The Superdrone sparked for a few seconds, then its top half crashed to the ground.

the young man tossed the stick in the air, caught it, and put it back in his coat. "I call that technique the Awsuma Slash! It's one of my favorites." he said. He then pulled his camera out of his coat again. "Say cheeze!" he said before taking another picture of Jack.

"You aren't an ordinary photographer, are you?" asked Jack.

"No, sir, I'm not." The young man replied.

"Who and what are you, exactly?"

"My name's Noah. I'm an esper and a wandering swordsman. And you don't need to introduce yourself, since I already know who you are." Noah held out his hand to Jack.

"Yes, I think everyone in this world knows who I am." Jack said as he shook Noah's hand. "Pleased to meet you, Noah."

"Likewise." said Noah "Say, do you mind if I travel with you for a while? After all, I need some more pictures to sell to your fangirls, and as you've noticed, I can certainly hold my own in a fight. I'll even split the money I get from selling the pictures."

Jack considered Noah's proposition. "Well, considering you're likely to follow me anyway, I might as well just to keep an eye on you."

"Thank you, sir. I promise not to be any trouble."

CHAPTER SEVEN END 


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

We join our heroes as they face the final Superdrone. In fact, just as they finish facing it...

Jack Leapt into the air with his trademark battle cry and sliced the Superdrone in half. Then he posed as Noah took a victory picture.

"This is gonna be great for my next set of pictures. Would it be too much to ask if you'd consider autographing some of them?" Noah asked.

"I would think so. I'm already feeling enough like a sell-out just by allowing you to take the pictures in the first place." Jack replied.

Suddenly, Aku appeared out of nowhere and ripped Jack the shreds with his evil clawed hands.

Noah stood where he was for a few seconds before the shock of what he had just seen subsided. "WHAT THE CRAP!" he yelled, "YOU JUST TOTALLY KILLED SAMURAI JACK!"

Aku looked at what remained of his nemesis. "Huh. So I have." he said. Roughly two seconds later he realized what had just happened. "I killed the samurai! I KILLED THE SAMURAI! HA HA HAAAAAA! I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

And then the universe exploded.

THE END

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(Haha. Yeah, right!)

Jack found himself standing on a platform floating in an endless void. In front of him was a podium.

"Brave warrior, your journey has come to a most unfortunate end." a voice said, "However, your adventures were not meant to end yet, and due to this, chaos now spreads throughout the multiverse."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"Your untimely death was not meant to happen. In response, your universe self-destructed." the voice explained, "This screwed up the balance of the multiverse, and now the remaining universes are starting to merge together. If this continues, the multiverse will eventually collapse upon itself and everything will be destroyed. Therefore, I shall revive you so you may restore balance to the multiverse."

"Why me? Why can't you assign someone who is still alive to do this task?"

"Because it was your death that caused the multiverse to end up like this, and we omnipotent beings prefer that world-saving be done by the hero with the closest relation to what caused the world to need saving in the first place!"

"I guess that makes sense..." Jack said to himself as the part of the platform beneath his feet suddenly opened and he plummeted into the void...

CHAPTER EIGHT END 


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Rewinding to just before the destruction of the Samurai Jack universe...

Noah stood where he was, watching Aku laugh maniacally over Jack's remains. He had no idea what to think. Suddenly, something occured to him. "Hey wait. This is one of those TV-Show-Rules universes. Presumably focused on Jack. Therefore, if Jack is the focal point of the universe, and he's now dead..." he said to himself, trying to sort out what had just popped into his mind. "SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! WE'RE FREAKING DOOMED!" he suddenly yelled, "Jack's the focal point of the universe! Now that he's dead, the universe is likely to fall apart!"

Sure enough, it did.

"Well, since this universe is screwed, I suppose I'll find another one to conquer!" said Aku. He then tore a hole in reality and leapt through it.

Thinking quickly, Noah grabbed Jack's sword (He certainly wasn't going to need it anymore...) and jumped in after the demon lord.

And THEN the universe exploded. 


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN 

As Noah attempts to keep tabs on Aku, Jack is currently on his way to being reincarnated so he can fix the damage his death has caused to the multiverse.

"You're probably going to need a new weapon," said the spirit that was guiding him down the path to resurrection, "Considering you old one was either destroyed along with your universe, or possibly lost somewhere in one of the others. in order to make this weapon, I'm gonna need a bit of your spirit energy... This might hurt a bit."

Of course, "A bit" turned out to be something of an understatement. Fortunately, it was over rather quickly, and Jack became the owner of a new enchanted katana crafted from a piece of his soul.

"It should be difficult for you to lose that sword. Even if you did, its connection to you will allow you to call it to your side no matter how far you are from it." explained the spirit.

Shortly after that, they came to a door. "Well, this is where you get off." said the spirit. "Sorry I don't have any instructions for you, but I was told the reason you're being sent to this particular universe for your revival would become clear shortly after your arrival."

Jack gripped his new sword tightly, opened the door, and stepped through...


	11. Intermission

-INTERMISSION-

Sorry for the extreme delay in updates, but life seriously gets in the way sometimes.

I notice that somebody in the review section for my little fanfic is wondering who Noah is. Well, he's an Original Character. Full Name: Noah Walsh. His skills and abilities tend to vary based on whatever pop culture is most recently affecting me, but a few things remain constant: His trademark black overcoat, his fondness for Mountain Dew and portable gaming devices, and his skill with a sword. He generally also has some form of magic power, usually limited to flight, though it varies based on what's most necessary.

"So, when can we expect more fanfic?" you're probably asking.

That's a good question.

I seem to have forgotten where I was going with this, but I've got some ideas in my head now, so expect a REAL new chapter hopefully before New Year's Day if I don't get sidetracked again.


	12. Chapter 11

Kinda forgot I'd pormised a new chapter BEFORE New Year's. As an apology, here's what I've got so far on the latest chapter:

-CHAPTER ELEVEN-

When we last left our heroes, they were on their way to another dimension, one being dropped off there from a portal in the afterlife, the other arriving there by following Aku through a tear in the fabric of reality.

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Aku stepped out of the portal he had created and looked around. "Ah... A fresh, new world, ready to be conquered! I only regret the fact that I'll have to start the process all by myself, since all my minions were destroyed with my original universe..."

Quite suddenly, Noah came flying out of the rift, crashed into Aku's back, and then hit the ground. "ow." he said before getting up and checking himself for injuries. Finding none, he thanked his lucky stars that he was apparently in yet another cartoon universe with basic cartoon physics.

Aku turned around to see what the noise behind him was. "Oh, it's just that random guy who was following the samurai around... WAIT JUST A SECOND! YOU FOLLOWED ME?!"

"Yes, I followed you! And now, I shall stop you from taking over this universe!" Noah yelled as he drew Jack's old sword from its sheath. Or tried to, as, for some reason, it refused to come out. "Oh, what the crap? Don't tell me I have to prove myself worthy of wielding this stupid sword before I can wield it!"

"HA HA HAAAAAA! You have no weapon to defeat me! I could crush you now, but I have world domination to plan! So for now, Sayonara!" Aku yelled, before teleporting off somewhere.

Noah stood speechless for a moment, before saying to nobody in particular, "I'm not sure whether I should be thankful he left me alive, or depressed that I'm apparently not worth his time..."


End file.
